boundaries, pushing of.

-my crush-house. every month or so I have to post another reverent picture of it, its unchangeability despite the seasons, the light quality, the passerby... WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS HOUSE? I'm perceptibly devolving from appreciative pedestrian to manic psycho answers-demanding harpy.
-mid-stride, yesterday. I was hungry and heading home to eat. I was fucking focused.
-spilt beer at the Canterbury. not mine. but we both admired the suspended aeration.
-a moth trapped on the wrong side of the glass. aren't we all, from time to time, MOTHS TRAPPED ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE GLASS?

when I shrivelingly chronicle my silly life, restless in urine-scented and age-gnarled sheets, I will think of July 2012 as a colossal turning point. this was a month that fucking mattered in very surprisingly positive ways. i love appreciating the moment as it actually happens.

I'm so goddamn happy! eeeee!

thanks for reading.

roll with it

-olive way.
-on the bus. the lady (and she really was a female) was carrying a toddler also.
-seating at the frye museum.
-the uw dorms, the same building that I waxed poetic about last week: reduced to a pile of silly crushes and dust-smothered stds.
-on the roof.
-lighting at Montana (the bar).
-Friday night in seattle.
-a yin searching for his yang.

hotness

24hrs:
I finished the book about public toilets and their cultural/societal/architectural impacts (it's called "toilet", it has a shiny gold cover, and you should read it now). I reread "raise high the roof beam, carpenters", which I'd swiped from the laundry room last week; it reminded me of "no exit" with more mid-word syllable emphases and greater kindness- but it didn't totally rock my world like all-things-Salinger did when I was 15. that's why I haven't reread "catcher in the rye" since then- I don't want to suddenly realize I hate it. I started "American Voyeur", nonfiction vignettes about specific pockets of our society: teenagers who give indiscriminate blow jobs but are like totally still virgins, members of NAMBLA, fraternities that are banning alcohol use, homeless gay teenagers in the Castro... it's very good so far.
and I'm about eight (admittedly tedious) chapters into yet another laundry-room gem, one I HAVEN'T read before but feel like I should, you know, for sociological musings: jackie collins' "Hollywood Wives."
YEAH.
a random-page sampling: "Elaine frowned and thought about her own love life. Ross hadn't ventured near her in months. bastard. just because HE didn't feel in the mood."
and I reread "mrs bridge", Evan Connell. it's still fucking great.

I have been reading outside. I have freckles on my fingers.

-the trusty steed.
-beauty school dropout!
-the ladies.
-tombs, infusing the henhouse with some straight-up sexy.
-those summer ni-ights.

happiness is a warm day

this has been a very, very good week.

-at the cuff.
-15th and mercer, today. 80 degrees and gorgeous.
-at the locks. the grass is finer and doesn't give me a rash like UW's lawns do. other good grasses: volunteer park and seven hills (the one nearest my lair).
good grasses, good public loos, good benches: these are important locales to mentally map.
-on a sadder note, I realized this week that tomb's mass is now visible. this has probably been the case for awhile and i'm just too used to her... it's medial to her right eye and gives her a toxic avenger look. she still seems otherwise unfazed, apart from the constant dulcet tones of her mucus.
-a raccoon in a tree! half a block from my lair! so cute! as I was taking this picture a guy in a suit walked by. "a friend of mine got attacked by one once" he said solemnly. "ATTACKED. so you should be careful." "yeah, they can be little jerks" I replied stupidly.
-my view from the locks. there are squished aphids between every page of the book I was reading.

theme song of the week: "girl of my dreams", Etta James

pretty things

-Capitol Hill.
-Downtown.
-Facing west.
-Facing up.
-Facing south.

this has been a damn good weekend. I love the possibilities.

this is what people do!

-today, golden gardens. I needed that. THANK YOU.
-I woke up this morning to this guy changing clothes outside my kitchen window. he had his belongings spread out beneath him. he was quite conscientious about it. actually, he was so polite that I got bored and walked away. five minutes later, when I remembered, he was gone.
-I love this city.
-12-mile bike ride helmet hair! YEAH! I made it up pine st for the first time in 10 years! piece o cake! my adductors are gonna be sore, and probably my thumbs from gripping the handlebars- but otherwise, i impressed myself. i hadn't used my bikin' muscles in ages. I love MOVING. I suspect I would rather lose my sentience than lose my mobility. or, ideally, NEITHER.
-the blue study, today.
-salmon skewers and prawns, oh my GOD.

Dr Lyman: "maybe man has passed the stage in evolution wherein love is possible. maybe life will continue to become so terrifyingly complex that man's anxiety about his mere survival will render him too miserly to give of himself in any true relation."
Elma: "you're talking over my head. anyone can fall in love, I always thought... and..."
Dr Lyman: "but two people, REALLY in love, must give up something of themselves."
-William Inge, 'Bus Stop', 1954

love is the wind in your face

-flight of amari.
-a very strange discovery in my neighborhood.
-15th Ave.
-hi.
-sleeping kitten.

yesterday I reread "the stranger"- it'd been 15 years. I like the way it's written, the terseness- and I like the minute, random details he focuses on, like paying attention to the smile while ignoring the voice.
it's raining this morning. the trees outside my windows have very wide leaves and every sound is amplified. it's peaceful. I'm sitting on my couch, writing this, feeling very happy.

same outcome, different method

-le hood.
-from the helix bridge, interbay.
-the gutted UW dorms. I used to love when the bus stopped there; I'd admire the squalid windows. bunched curtains and bulky televisions and Tibetan prayer flags and, in 2008, lots of Obama posters- I never went to college, much less lived in a dorm, so I romanticize it: covert sex, studious introspection, Xmas lights illuminating the obligatory Nina Simone and Nick Drake albums. squeeee! I also think of scabies and vile communal toilets, but again, what the fuck do I know?
-occidental park. I feel so sorry for pioneer square. really, what does it need? everything? it's intricate and gorgeous and blighted. it needs another awesome bookstore, that's what.
-mural on 2nd Ave.
-we don't need no f'n time machine! sorry, it's difficult to read.

"I mean, a person has to have magic to assert their identity without regard to all the bullshit, right?" Sherman Alexie

rise up singin'

-contrasts on the waterfront. fantasy and reality. drudgery and indulgence.
-altar candles at st ignatius.
-the seattle room at the central library.
-yesterday was bewitchingly lovely.
-buildings within buildings.

fidgety as hell today- in a good way. I feel like my blood has been replaced with liquid electricity. the air is palpable and it's thundering again.