is this my beautiful life?

you ever think of a sound that describes your mood at a precise moment? right now my mood is that part in "Venus in Furs" when the violin squeaks dissonantly after one of the final "whiplash girlchild in the dark"s. you know that note? it's a good one.

-David Lynchian Chinese restaurant, last night. for a while we were the only customers. we talked with the waiter about transgenderism. the salt n pepper tofu? fucking delicious.
I love finding secret portals of awesomeness.
-still life with wine glass.
-6th Ave, looking west.
-you know the honey badger video? of course you do. Entropy sat in this exact position for about three minutes before I was unnerved enough to take this picture. and after I took it I said "hey stupid!" to her. "hey stupid! thanks for the mouse." she blinked her left eye and appeared to not get it.
-the ave.
-Fremont, outside the PCC. sweet sweet shitbarf, how you've gentled.

before work today I found a book at the cap hill library, "Bungalow Bathrooms." brilliant, art deco bathrooms! baroque tiling! glossy marble sinks! various types of toilets! it's amazing! and one home that they had repeated pictures of: the Stimson-Green mansion on Minor Ave in First Hill. what sort of exotic antics will I be engaging in come the morrow, my first day off in six? I will be wandering by the Stimson-Green mansion with a lusty, hungry eye, that's what.
books like that make me appreciate my own very old lair anew.

I had a dream last night that one of my teeth was transparently thin. I thought "how did I not notice this sooner?" then it fell out. it was almost like a bridge. clean, bloodless, the gap almost invisible when I frantically leered into the mirror to assess my abrupt ugliness. the toothless space of my gums felt soft and familiar, but without that salty irresistibility of when you lose a tooth as a kid. it was rather anticlimactic. I woke up and promptly made sure all my teeth were still there.

dream analysis says that tooth/mouth dreams mean that you don't feel like you're being heard or comprehended accurately. but i was mainly relieved that I didn't have to stumble through my reality feeling gap-toothed and self-conscious.

vile, unintentional moral of the story, that my alert and sentient self completely disagrees with: i would rather be attractive than understood.

cheers.